hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
