You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
