So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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