Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
That accounts for only three of the penises
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
