yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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