her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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