And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
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But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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