An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'm passing your future prison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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