Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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