hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
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