I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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