I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
