part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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