How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
