i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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