smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize