Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
