He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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