Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize