the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize