I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize