I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
