In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
