Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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