She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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