I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
