if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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