you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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