I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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