It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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