i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
