Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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