btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize