Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
no you cant smoke seaweed
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize