Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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