At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
