Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
