please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
