i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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