Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
