Christians are straight up FREAKS
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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