Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
