There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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