I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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