talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
My penis needs a shock collar
Brb crying the tears of my youth
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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