hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
