Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I wish you could order shots online.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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