I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
