where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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