I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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