I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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