Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
